Cupid vs. Clutter

Sometimes we have to entertain some silly points of view when dealing with a big move like co-habitation. In honor of Valentine’s Day, take a gander at some not-so-serious ideas about moving in with your love.
How to Move in Together and Still Keep the Majority of Your Stuff:
-Step 1: Lay the groundwork:
Early on in the relationship make a big deal about a favorite John Travolta beach towel, broken ice tray, Winnie the Pooh picture frame, etc so that your partner thinks it’s a treasured possession even though you’ve been meaning to throw all of these things down the garbage shoot.
-Step 2: Present your Sacrifice:
            When you move in together, offer to give up that awesome Little Mermaid sleeping bag that you used as a kid “every night”. Your partner will protest but insist (insert appropriate hand movements) that you’re willing to compromise and now that you’re an adult in an adult relationship, you simply don’t need Ariel in your life any more. When you gather up the sleeping bag, dramatically press your face into its plush body to smell your childhood just one last time.
-Step 3: Hooked!
            Your partner will think you’re amazingly mature and will offer to do the same with their stuff.
-Step 4: Be helpful:
            Casually accept their offer (no big whoop) by opening a huge black garbage bag that you’ve had handy for this special moment and encourage your dude/lady to throw everything you’ve ever hated into the gaping mouth of the bag. Interupt the disposal by trying to “convince” them not to throw something out but they will realize on their own that it’s just junk and you’ll nod in support of their decision.
-Step 5: Sacrifice: The Sequel:
            For every five items that your partner chucks out, offer to throw out another “heirloom treasure” from your life. By the way, this is an excellent chance to purge all of those stinky handmade soaps that your Aunt Sheila dumps on you every Easter.
-Step 6: Sleep soundly in your bed with your sheets and your pillows while your partner also nods off thinking that you both just made huge sacrifices.
-Step 7: Enjoy your relationship with one eye open.
With love, light and less clutter…Happy Valentine’s Day!