Hi Everyone! It’s been a little while since I’ve posted on my blog. I apologize for my absence but I’ve been out in the world saving marriages (insert enthusiastic John Williams music here). I might be stretching the truth a bit because nobody but Dr. Phil can save marriages (insert laugh track here or rim shot, whatever you prefer). When it comes to how we co-exist, organzing can get a little bit tricky and messy and layered at times. Partners have different ways of tackling clutter and when I work with couples, I’ve often turned into a mediator. I break up fights (no hitting) and then encourage couples to talk through how they’re feeling. We revisit old emotional bruises and ugly sneakers and then we continue on our way because I charge by the hour and nobody can afford to unpack every single wound in a short session while staying on budget.
But because this is the season for renewal and recharging, I’m about to share a lovely New Year tale that has no trace of tsuris (Yiddish for woe or aggravation). No, this story is pure happy ending and more importantly, happy organized beginnings. A client who I had worked with once before hired me to shape up her husband’s closet. She emailed me photos of the space and I sent back a detailed shopping list with links to products that she should buy in preparation for our session. This lady meant business and I love working with clients who know what they want. I also love working with clients who don’t know what they want because we can formulate a plan together and man, do I love to formulate! OK, back to the story.
During my appointment with this fantastic couple, there was no bickering, no dramatic door slamming, no awkward silences where I gingerly categorize the husband’s sock drawer by color, no barbs about poor taste in furniture, just smiles and hugs. Do you want to know why it ended up so pleasantly? I’ll tell you. It’s because during this awesome session, the husband was out of the apartment making business calls in the lobby while the wife and I feverishly unwrapped her pre-purchased items from the Container Store, ripped apart his closet, secretly threw away some of his ratty gym clothes and draped all of his snazzy blazers on new hangers. And damn did we have fun! The wife was emotionally unattached from hubby’s belongings and he wasn’t there to get in the way. Sometimes, trickery and secrets are the only way to a beautiful closet and a harmonious union.
Now normally I don’t work this way because the owner of the stuff should be the one digging through the piles. The digging client should ideally be absorbing lessons and learning how to have a daily routine that encourages organizing. But the exception here is that I had already seen this couple interact once before and I hadn’t observed a lot of “heat” around the subject of organizing (the word “heat” is credited to my writing teacher Beth Ann Bauman – who is AWESOME). Another thing that eliminated drama from the scene was the fact that hubby had been saying that he wanted to organize his closet for a very long time so his wife knew that it was a desire of his to get this thing taken care of once and for all. It was truly going to be a gift for him not the thinly veiled “gift for him” that’s usually a gift for the scheming spouse. The wife also knew that her man’s laid-back personality could handle us going through his heaps of stuff without him present and involved. It’s not just New York women who are neurotic, it’s men, too. Not every guy wants you disrupting his clutter nests even if they tell you they’re “chill” about it. Rule #1 of couples organzing: Know your dude!! If you have even an inkling of a doubt that he’d want you picking through his socks, shirts and 91 baseball caps, do not attempt this! I repeat, do not attempt this. BUT, like my lovely client, if you are completely certain that he’d be thrilled over a gift like this, let’s get it on.
After wrapping a big red bow on the closet door and presenting it to him like a reality show ending, we showed him the changes we had made. We spelled out where everything was and even copped to throwing out a plastic bag of sweaty gym socks. He could not have been happier, he really was grateful that we tackled in 3 hours what he had been putting off for months. I told the couple that he had 24 hours to enjoy his new closet and then the wife was allowed to present his homework list of the remaining tasks that needed completing. The next day I got an email from the client stating how thrilled they both were and how the husband enjoyed the extra time in the morning he saved looking for lost items. When the wife tried to slip him the homework list, he reminded her about the 24 hour grace period. Once a mediator, always a mediator. But this marriage didn’t need saving. That’s a true happy ending.
Do you think your spouse would enjoy a surprise organizing gift? Give me a shout!
With love, light and less clutter,
Jeni